AS WE GET older, it’s remarkable how many crises we have lived through that we were too innocent to recognize at the time. Anxiety begins with the power to grasp and comprehend what is obscure.

Want to be obsolete without anxiety? Just remind yourself that if you’re not getting any younger, neither is anybody else. Are most of your contemporaries retired? Are your former heartthrob actors, entertainers and sports heroes now grandparents and doing infomercials for senior products?

Do you often find yourself pondering the thought “How can you be over the hill with grace?” A friend said he can remember when a bureau was a piece of furniture. If you can, you are probably over the hill or at least cresting. Here’s more criteria for determining if you might be over the hill:

If you have more to look back on than forward to, if you think the rising generation is failing, if you don’t expect any more than what you’ve already gotten used to, if your regrets exceed your expectations;

If the younger generation you used to worry about is now doing the same kind of worrying, if your yearnings no longer exceed your earnings, if you look at life and find a big if right in the middle, if staying even is more of an achievement than getting ahead;

If you know fellows who once shaved to prove how old they were and now let their hair grow to prove how young they are, if you can remember when parents were able to help their children with their math problems, if you no longer worry about how slowly the legislative machinery moves;

If you don’t care whether your TV set brings in more than one channel; when did how you receive your TV signals become so complicated? Do you really need streaming? If you need to sit down while watching a parade, if you’d rather hear about the parade than watch it;

If you can remember when Jack Benny was 38, if you hesitate before buying a two-pants suit because you don’t know who’ll wear it out, if forgoing a good time is better than getting over it, if you can remember when mother couldn’t prepare dinner without a can opener;

If you can remember when senior citizens were called old-timers, if you send a Father’s Day card to your grandson’s father, you may be paranoid if you feel the need to ask the first lady you see if you look over the hill to her.



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IT’S A way of life. You have to give those people who live beyond their means a lot of credit, a local businesswoman was overheard to say.

To help new employees get off to a good start, an experienced employee posted the “10 Rules of Survival” in the employees’ break room at the local hardware. They are:

1. The boss is always right.

2. In the impossible hypothesis that a subordinate may be right, Rule No. 1 becomes immediately operative.

3. Remember, the boss does not sleep or take breaks; he rests.

4. The boss is never late to work; he is delayed elsewhere assisting a very important customer.

5. The boss never leaves his work; his presence is required elsewhere, probably an emergency.

6. The boss never reads the paper in his office; he is researching advancements in the industry to stay ahead.

7. The boss never takes liberties with his executive assistant; he has a duty to educate her (or him) on the latest opportunities.

8. Whoever may enter the boss’ office with an idea of his/her own must leave that office with the boss’ latest ingenious idea.

9. The boss is always the boss, even in his most casual togs.

10. And never, ever forget, the boss is always right.