WHETHER YOU’VE BEEN married a long time or if you are a newlywed, you should know it’s usually easier to agree with something you don’t understand than to understand something you don’t agree with.

Marriages may be made in heaven, but the maintenance work must be done here on Earth. Marriage counselors will tell you, “You should never lie to your wife, but she may not want to hear all the truth all the time.”

Red Green, newspaper columnist, TV star and author, has made observations about the human relationship condition. For example, he said, “Middle-aged men think they know everything. Their wives think the complete opposite. The truth lies somewhere in between.”

Green said middle-aged men always know what the government is doing wrong; where the benches are at the mall; how to make a really loud fashion statement, grow a good lawn, pass the time waiting for your wife to cool off and make a complete hairstyle out of dwindling resources; and the location of the nearest men’s room.

“After you’ve been married for a while, you develop a way of communicating that does not require language. All it takes is a look or even a subtle change in body language and your partner knows immediately what’s being communicated. For example, if your wife isn’t laughing at the story you’re telling, trust me, it’s not funny,” said Green.

Green offered these examples of marriage shorthand.

If your wife looks at you, you’ve done something wrong; smiles at you, she’s done something wrong; raises an eyebrow, reverse your position immediately; raises a firearm, stop talking and get creative.

With the knowledge that the national student loan debt is now said to be $1.6 trillion, it’s a relief to know men and women can register for some affordable and beneficial classes at adult learning centers that are popping up around the area.

According to an email I received, anyone interested in registering for these classes needs to do so quickly. Due to the complexity and difficulty level of their contents, class sizes will be limited to foster maximum participation.

Here’s a sample of the classes available. Moderators are trained professionals specializing in conflict resolution.

Class No. 1 is open to men and women, and is titled “Is It Possible To Drive Past a Walmart or Bass Pro Shop Without Stopping?” It is a group debate. It meets four consecutive Saturdays, for two hours.

Class No. 2, “Up In Winter, Down In Summer: How To Adjust a Thermostat Step-By-Step,” with slide presentation; meets for four weeks, Mondays and Wednesdays, for two hours.

Class No. 3, “Which Takes More Energy: Putting the Toilet Seat Down or Bitching About It for Three Hours?” round-table discussion; meets two weeks, Saturdays, for two hours.

Class No. 4, “How To Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program” help-line support groups; meets four weeks, Fridays and Sundays, at 7 p.m.

Class No. 5, “Can a Bath or Shower Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps, Shampoos, and Bath and Body Washes?” open forum; Mondays, at 8 p.m., for two hours.

Class No. 6, “I Was Wrong and He Was Right!” real-life testimonials. No names required; Tuesdays, at 6 p.m.

Class No. 7, “How To Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.” Driving simulators available; four weeks, Saturdays, at noon.

Class No. 8, “How To Shop By Yourself.” Women only, field trips; four weeks, Tuesdays and Thursdays, two hours, at 7 p.m.