WOULD YOU AGREE that many pet owners have a better relationship with their dog or cat than they do with their spouse or with their children? As a result, much has been written about this curious dynamic.

Without a doubt, pets fill a void in our lives. They are given royal status in most homes. You’re nodding your head in agreement, aren’t you? Many people are more tolerant with their pets and would do more things for them than they would do for themselves or a family member.

Experts have studied this behavior. Their findings are often posted on the internet. Several sources can be credited with the following observations, which were collected over several years. This column is going to the cats and dogs this week.

For example, here are a few things you can learn from a dog. Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride. Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy. When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

When it’s in your best interest, practice obedience. Let others know when they’ve invaded your territory. Take naps and always stretch before rising. Run, romp and play daily. Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.

Be loyal. Never pretend to be something you’re not. If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it. When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently. Delight in the joy of a long walk.

Thrive on attention and let people touch you. Avoid biting when a simple growl will do. On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree. No matter how often you are criticized, don’t buy into the guilt thing and pout. Run right back and make friends.

If you stare at someone long enough, eventually, you’ll get what you want. Don’t go out without identification. Be aware of when to hold your tongue and when it is OK to use it. When you do something wrong, always take responsibility. If it’s not wet and sloppy, it’s not a real kiss.



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DOGS AND some cats have property laws. Such as if I like it, it’s mine. If it’s in my mouth, it’s mine. If I can take it from you, it’s mine. If I had it a little while ago, it’s mine. If I saw it first, it’s mine.

If you are playing with something and you put it down, it becomes mine. If it’s broken, it’s yours.

After decades of study by females of many professions, we know dogs are better than men. Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public. Dogs miss you when you’re gone. Dogs feel guilty when they’ve done something wrong.

Dogs admit when they are jealous. Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out. You can train a dog. Dogs are easy to buy for. Dogs understand what “no” means. Dogs mean it when they kiss you.

Those same female researchers found that dogs and men are sometimes the same. For example, both take up too much space on the bed and both hate vacuum cleaners. Neither tells you what’s bothering them.

The smaller ones tend to be more nervous, neither does the dishes, neither notices when you get your hair cut. Both are suspicious of the postman and neither understands what you see in cats.

Male researchers also have looked into this dynamic. They found a few reasons why a dog might be better than a woman. For example, a dog’s parents will never visit you. A dog limits its time in the bathroom to a quick drink.

A dog will not get mad at you if you forget its birthday. A dog does not care about the previous dogs in your life. A dog does not get mad at you if you pet another dog.

A dog never expects flowers on Valentine’s Day. The later you are, the happier a dog is to see you.



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A FEW brave men told researchers they actually prefer dogs over women. And here are a few reasons why. Names are withheld for obvious reasons.

Dogs quite happily sit and watch the football game without complaining. When a dog licks your ear, it has no ulterior motive. Dogs don’t care if you use their shampoo. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don’t hate it.

Dogs don’t get jealous if you call them by another dog’s name. Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor. Dogs love long car trips and actually like to ride in the back of the pickup.

Dogs agree you have to raise your voice sometimes to get your point across. Dogs don’t make snide remarks about drinking buddies. Dogs don’t let magazine articles guide their lives.

Dogs have no use for expensive jewelry or romantic cards. Dogs don’t care what you say to other drivers. Dogs find you clever and amusing when you’re drunk. You don’t have to wait for a dog; they are ready to go 24 hours a day.