THE ECONOMIC DISRUPTION of the last 18 months caused by the pandemic has forced many people to find work wherever available. In this story, the young lady didn’t realize tapping the driver on the shoulder would cause such a near-tragic outcome.

A passenger in an Uber heading for Midway Airport leaned over to ask the driver a question and gently tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention. She noticed the driver was driving very cautiously and she was concerned she might be late for her flight.

The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb and stopped just inches from a large plate-glass window.

For a few moments everything was silent in the cab. Then, the shaking driver said “Are you OK? I’m so sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me.”

The badly shaken passenger apologized to the driver and said “I didn’t realize that a mere tap on the shoulder would startle someone so badly.”

The driver replied “No, no, I’m the one who is sorry; it’s entirely my fault. Today is my very first day driving a cab. I’ve been driving a hearse for 25 years.”

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WORKING FROM home the past 18 months was a necessity for many people. It worked so well for many employees that they convinced their employers to make it permanent. With some free-time on her hands, one young woman wrote to tech support.

“Dear tech support, last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.”

“In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.”

“Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do? Signed, Desperate.”

She did it as a joke, but was amused when she unexpectedly received their responding email.

“Dear Desperate, first keep in mind Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command ‘I thought you loved me.html,’ and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.”

“If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. However, remember overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.”

“Whatever you do, do not under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0. It runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources. In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. It could crash your computer.”

“In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.”

“Good luck! Tech support.”