Will Maines - Vilas County News-Review
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  • Two good kids became fishermen

    YOU CAN’T BEAT a day fishing with young kids.
    That has long been my experience, except in a few instances when I had kids in my boat who were, in polite terms, a royal pain in the butt. The two kids I fished with last Friday were
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  • It will be a prairie reunion

    DO YOU REMEMBER the story of Clark Griswold organizing the “hap-hap-happiest” Christmas ever for his dysfunctional family? Of course you do. Everyone knows the story of the Griswolds.
    Well, like Clark, I had a dream this spring of
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  • A river, a lake and flowers

    SUNDAY WAS FATHER’S Day. Sunday  also was waterfalls day. And as much as anything, Sunday became Flower Power Day.
    My wife and I have lately been proving that the more things change, the more they stay the same. We are of a generation for whom Sunday afternoon was a time for taking leisurely drives in the country. For many, that
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  • His sanity has prevailed

    SANITY HAS PREVAILED, at least for a little while.
    Sometime, on a sunny, warm day back on Feb. 22, a certain person decided that no sane person at the age of 70 would subject himself to the rigors of skiing 34 miles over rugged terrain in a single day ever again. Remember these words: never,
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  • A time in MacQuarrie country

    SOMETIMES YOU JUST have to get out of Dodge. Last weekend was one of those times for my lovely wife and me.
    We fled north- and westward to familiar country. In the winter, we see a piece of this country where many thousands of skiers gather to celebrate and challenge the world-class cross-country race known as
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  • We treasure all our friends

    IN THESE DAYS of uncertainty, one thing has remained certain. Friends are always there for you. My wife and I have welcomed friends, some old, some new, over the past few weeks.
    Last week, we
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  • The Brule and MacQuarrie

    OUR LONG WINTER of discontent may finally be nearing an end. At least as far as camping in Wisconsin state parks and forests, it might be.
    So far, I missed out on trout fishing and camping in Florence and Bayfield counties because of national forest campground closures, and my wife and I will have missed out on camping with
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  • Outdoors passion never wavers

    I HAVE BEEN blessed during the entirety of my life. Practically from the time I was born, I had parents who rapidly and repeatedly introduced me to the joys of an outdoor life.
    I had a mother who taught me how to
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  • One out of two ain’t bad

    IN THE WORDS of Meat Loaf: “Two out of three ain’t bad.” In my words, one out of two ain’t bad. Don’t know what Meat Loaf would say about my words, but I’ll stand by ’em.
    After a highly successful turkey hunt here in April, with a beautiful gobbler to show for it, I
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  • Every expedition has its story

    EVERY FISHING EXPEDITION has its own story.
    Some are better than others. Some take longer in the telling than others. Some rely on foibles and mishaps to enhance the telling. Some are stories of success; some have nothing but
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  • They say three is the charm

    THEY SAY THREE is the charm. I say not always, but thank goodness for No. 4.
    Snow still on the ground in places, cold, windy, overcast; it didn’t matter last week when opening day for my seven-day turkey season began. At 4:45 opening morning, I was in the woods wondering
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  • It is a time for planning

    THE MONTHS OF March and April are a time for planning. Beginning in May, it’s a time for doing.
    As usual, I have spent the past several weeks planning big things for May, June and beyond. As you might expect, much of the planning has revolved around fishing and camping. Now, with what we are going through, some of those plans have
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  • It was a perfect day for kayaking

    IT WAS A beautiful afternoon for paddling a kayak around West Plum Lake. There was a brisk wind out of the west that had pushed every cloud out of the sky and a bright sun shone from above. It was 60 degrees, according to my truck’s thermometer reading.
    That was last Saturday and as of today, we are
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  • All I have to do is dream

    “ALL I HAVE To Do Is Dream,” The Everly Brothers taught me that way back in 1960. It is a lesson I learned all those years ago and it has come in very handy in recent weeks.
    Last weekend, my wife and I had to
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  • Sonny and Cher had it right

    “THE BEAT GOES on.” Sonny and Cher had it right. America’s favorite couple, at least for a while, had a major hit in 1967 with that song. The beat does indeed go on.
    That could be said for
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  • The forest is our healing place

    IN THESE DARK days and I don’t mean weather wise, it is difficult to maintain a sunny disposition. In a short time, true cabin fever begins to set in for people unable to do the things they like to do like going to a movie, eating at a restaurant or going shopping without worrying that they may come carrying a virus that may
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  • It’s good to touch bare ground

    SOMETIMES IT FEELS good just to touch bare ground. Those sometimes for me are usually when the first days of thawing in March open up some small patches of bare ground underneath pine trees and on south-facing hillsides.
    I know it isn’t much, but
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  • Thanks for the memories

    AS BOB HOPE used to sing “Thanks for the memories.” No, I’m not thanking any humans this time around, though many have contributed to my memory bank over the years. And no, I’m not saying thanks for the memories because I’m going to quit writing a weekly column. I have no plans for that.
    This thank you for the memories is directed to
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  • At the Birkie, they do it

    WISCONSIN’S RURAL SMALL towns are famous for the many festivals and events they put on each year — events that bring thousands of people to participate in bike, running, ski, snowmobile and other competitions along with street fairs and other such tourist attractions.
    The towns in our neck of the North Woods are
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  • It was tough, but I finished

    THE OLD BODY just ain’t what it used to be. After finishing my 20th 55-kilometer American Birkebeiner, I’m more than sure my 70-year-old body is not even close to what it used to be.
    Sun and blue skies shone down upon
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  • The old man and his trout

    THE WATER IS cold, icy cold, as the early-season trout fisherman, knee deep in the calm waters of a treasured spring pond, stands off the chill with insulated waders.
    Strands of misty fog rise lazily from the pond’s surface, giving
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  • Belated surprise was a good one

    SOMETIMES, SURPRISES IN your life pop up when you least expect them. Reckon maybe that’s why they call them surprises?
    Last week, coming home from an afternoon of skiing, I found what turned out to be a very nice surprise waiting for me. It was a cardboard box propped up against my garage entrance door. Inside was a
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  • One and done, hah!

    WHO WOULD’VE thunk it? The fourth Saturday of February, in 1984, more than 6,500 skiers lined up in Duffy’s Field just outside of Hayward for the start of the American Birkebeiner. I was one of those skiers.
    Even before I started, the plan was for that Birkie to be my one and done. As it turned out, I
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  • The old girl is slowing down

    THE SPIRIT IS still strong and willing, but the flesh is getting a little weak. Normally, I might be saying that about myself, but after a Sunday afternoon 2-mile walk with my dogs, I’m sad to say it’s beginning to be a little evident that I have to say it about 11-year-old Molly, our faithful golden retriever.
    She has loved to go on long walks, runs and
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  • Safe from lions, tigers and hippos

    PEOPLE WHO LIKE TO follow trails through the woods are much like a bear with a sniff of a honey tree. Unable to resist the lure of a footpath through the forest, hikers, much like the bear tracking the honey tree, follow their nose wherever it may take them.
    I am one of those people. I have been wandering the woods in our north Wisconsin country for a long, long time. By the age of
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  • No finer time to be outdoors

    THE INKY BLACKNESS SWIRLS around you and the light predawn breeze swishes gently through the woods surrounding you.
    You see vague shapes and forms looming up in front of you, one looking like a deer standing still as a statue, another like a man stretching his arms high after just rolling out of a sleeping bag. In full light, those forms will turn out to be
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  • The Birkie countdown is on

    THE COUNTDOWN HAS BEGUN in earnest. In just six weeks, I will fit boots to bindings on cross-country skis before setting out to complete my 20th American Birkebeiner ski race.
    Looking back, I can’t help but think it’s ironic that a person who skied his first Birkie in 1984, with the intent of
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  • I know where I will be April 22

    DOES ANYONE HERE KNOW exactly what they will be doing come 5 a.m., Wednesday, April 22? I do.
    That morning will mark the opening day of my Wisconsin season for spring turkey hunting and at 5 a.m., I will be well into the woods heading for a place where I have killed
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  • Santa Claus is a pretty nice guy

    MOST PEOPLE BELIEVE Santa Claus only comes to visit once a year; that visit coming Christmas Eve. I know better and I have proof.
    I have seen Santa at many times of the year. Well, OK, maybe I didn’t actually see him; at least not in his red suit and black boots, with white beard flowing and accompanied by
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  • Nature tells many stories

    NOT ALL STORIES ARE told with words put on paper. Not all stories are told with words spoken by humans.
    Some of the best, most compelling and awesome stories are told in silence, with marks in the snow and eerie sounds penetrating dark, nighttime air.
    Just recently, my wife and I listened to one of those stories being told. It was
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  • Can’t take Christmas out of the boy

    THERE IS ENJOYING the outdoors and then, there is really enjoying the beauty of the outdoors wherever you might find it.
    Sometimes, the outdoors is simply looking out your window, watching chickadees and nuthatches go to work on the suet bag and sunflower seed feeder you have set out to satisfy their need for food, and
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  • And a happy shoveling to all

    SNOW, SNOW, GO AWAY. Seems to me that has a familiar ring to it, except it’s usually during the summer when it’s rain and everyone wants sunshine.
    My gripes about the past several days of moving snow are just like those of everyone else, but the truth of the matter is this is not the first early December with snow like this and it 
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  • An old hunter should be so lucky

    IF A 12-YEAR-OLD BOY had been granted his one biggest wish of a lifetime the morning of November 18, 1961, he would have slayed his first whitetail buck opening morning.
    As he reasoned it, getting his first buck would have automatically elevated him into the coveted status of
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  • Dogs are the greatest gift

    SOMETIMES IT PAYS TO read the Sunday comics section of the newspaper. Last Sunday, in “Pickles,” Grampa, who was reading about dogs, remarked to his grandson that “Petting a dog for 15 minutes can lower blood pressure by 10%.”
    Truer words were never spoken. I
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  • Early ice fishing has begun

    THERE MAY NOT BE any joy in Mudville, but all over north Wisconsin there is joy in the hearts of all ice fishermen.
    Thanks to winter deciding to settle in early in earnest, a fair number of area lakes already have ice thick enough to venture out on quite safely. Not to say a person should just go tramping out on any given lake without 
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  • A buck is just a bonus

    “THE ICEMAN COMETH.” This is the iceman that brings snow on the ground and early ice on north Wisconsin lakes. This also is the iceman that stirs hot-blooded whitetail bucks to action, chasing does around the woods in a frenzy during late October and well into November.
    Come to think of it, rutting whitetail bucks might be seen about the same as
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  • Ski memories are made of this

    DURING MY SOMETIMES misspent younger days, I firmly believed that the months of October and November were to be reserved solely for the purpose of hunting.
    I hunted nearly every day or at least as often as I could sneak out of the house before my
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  • Fall is short and fleeting

    I THINK MOST PEOPLE would agree with me if I were to say that fall is the best season of all and also the most fleeting.
    Spring, summer and winter all bring something to the table that anyone or everyone can enjoy, but to sort of paraphrase a famous circus man “not only can you find some of the people who love fall all of the time or all of the people who love fall some of the time, but you
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  • I might do a belly flop next time

    A LITTLE SNOWFALL never hurt anyone. True? People in North Dakota could give you the answer after 20 inches slammed part of that state last weekend.
    A video posted by a resort in
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  • Then the prairie turned white

    WHY IS IT THAT when a person is counting down the days to a much anticipated trip it seems to take about a week for 24 hours to pass by? But when the trip is finally in progress, it takes only an hour for an entire day to pass? That’s the way it was for me on my 10-day annual trip to paradise, otherwise known as the prairie country of
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  • Icy-cold water is no joke

    SEVERAL TIMES ALONG a path I have followed for more than 60 years of rambling around north Wisconsin, I have learned that you don’t want to mess with cold, near-freezing water.
    Some adventures I’ve been a part of were
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  • The pathologist is crazy

    SOMETIMES, YOU NEED a little craziness in your life. With friends, family and dogs like I have, you would think I would have plenty of craziness in my life. But last week, I actually welcomed, nay encouraged, a little more craziness to accompany me for a day.
    The occasion was an afternoon of
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  • The cherry pie was delicious

    I SURVIVED; A JUG of Crown Royal did not. That would be a brief summation of the 50th annual reunion of the 1969 UW-Eau Claire Third East Bridgeman dorm floor inmates that I was a part of last week. Held in Door County for three days, the reunion not only included a few dollops of Crown, but also many other things for which
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  • Let the good times roll

    LET THE GOOD TIMES roll.
    When I decided to use the above line as an opener for this week’s column, I first checked on, ugh, the internet to see which music artists most successfully recorded the song with those words in
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  • We laughed ’til our sides hurt

    SOMETIMES IN ONE’S life, there are times when you need to find a place where you can be alone with your thoughts. I experienced one of those times last week, when a good friend who was only 68 years old was taken to a higher and better place.
    Born and raised in
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  • It was a fine weekend of camping

    IT HAD BEEN a while, so the idea of hitting the road for a three-day weekend of camping made great sense to me and my lovely wife.
    With dogs, fishing kayak, camper, and all the various and sundry things campers need for a successful outing loaded up including a carefully cushioned fresh jug of Crown, we turned the truck northwest for
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  • Eyes have seen the wild side

    WHEN YOU VENTURE outdoors, you never know what you might see.
    I’ve been roaming this north Wisconsin country of ours for two weeks shy of 70 years. Though during the very few first of those years I wasn’t actually doing the roaming, letting my mother’s or my dad’s feet do the walking while I
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  • I’ll sit on my prat and catch bass

    ONE OF THE best books I have ever read, one I treasure and place up there with every anthology of Gordon MacQuarrie stories ever printed is “Trout Madness,” by revered Michigan Upper Peninsula writer John Voelker who wrote under the pen name of Robert Traver.
    After writing the novel
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  • There are places I remember

    “There are places I’ll remember all my life. Though some have changed. Some forever, not for better. Some have gone and some remain. All these places had
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  • Never take an 8-year-old fishing

    I MAKE IT a practice to never offer advice to anyone except my children and they generally ignore it anyway. Today, I will offer a piece of advice; a piece of advice I would hope every fisherman would heed.
    Never take an
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  • The waiting time grows shorter

    SIXTY-SIX DAYS may seem to be a relatively short period of time, but for me the next 66 days will seem like an eternity. That’s how far away the opening day of North Dakota’s duck and goose season is.
    As that opening day draws nearer and
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  • It’s always good to be a ‘yooper’

    IT’S ALWAYS GOOD TO be a yooper, if only for a day. Last Saturday, my wife and I decided it was our day to be yoopers.
    Our original plan was to head for Black River Harbor in Michigan, hike to most or all of the beautiful waterfalls on the Black River in its final mile or so run to Lake Superior and then to
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  • This is my kind of country

    COME FEAST OR FAMINE; war or peace; snow, rain or sunshine, one thing remains for certain in this north Wisconsin country I call home. The beauty of the country, no matter what people or bad weather try to do it, has and always will be with us.
    I spend a good deal of time in the outdoors, whether
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  • Is that a Remington or Winchester?

    I SUPPOSE AT graduation parties one would expect conversation would mostly be directed toward heaping honor upon the college or high school graduate being fêted. Oh sure, additional commentary would drift acceptably to such topics as family, friends and pets perhaps, but when you live in north Wisconsin all such topics are usually dispensed with rather quickly in favor of
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  • A flood of cooking memories

    WHEN IT COMES to fishing, hunting, camping and all other things outdoors, I have a million memories; probably more. I’ve had wonderful memories of the outdoors etched in my mind for decades and some of those moments, small as they may have been, have never left.
    I remember specifically my first
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  • Old fishermen often tell lies

    OLD FISHERMEN TELL a lot of stories. Old fishermen have a lot of sayings. Most of the things old fishermen say are fibs and some things they say are outright blatant lies. I know that for fact, for I am an old fisherman.
    There is one paragraph of old sayings, most likely made up by
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  • I haven’t been skunked yet

    THIS HAS BEEN perhaps the best first month of a fishing season I have enjoyed for many years. I’m finding out this being retired stuff isn’t bad at all. 
    Give me a nice spring afternoon with the choice of raking leaves or going fishing and guess which option I choose. Mow the grass or go fishing? Easy answer. Stay home and
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  • I am jealous of my friends

    I AM JEALOUS. I just got off the phone with a young couple, good friends of mine. I am jealous because they just got back from visiting in North Dakota where they spent time with family. I am jealous because they got to see some of the millions of wild ducks that nest and breed in the prairie pothole country of North Dakota and I
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  • Give and take in the outdoors

    WHEN IT COMES to the outdoors we live and play in, it’s always a good feeling to harvest part of the bounty it provides: a couple of walleyes for the frying pan, venison for a roast, blueberries, blackberries, strawberries and other wild delights, mushrooms and the list goes on.
    It also feels good to put something back into the
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  • Almost a genuine celebrity

    THROUGHOUT MY ENTIRE LIFE, I have never considered myself to be anything other than an “average Joe.” 
    I have caught a lot of fish in a lifetime of fishing. I’ve killed my share of bucks, ducks, turkeys and such, but as many times as not, I come home empty-handed from an outing; sometimes as a result of
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  • More to fishing than catching fish

    CATCHING FISH ISN’T the only thing that makes a fishing trip successful. That’s probably an overworn saying, but no matter how old or overworn, it is very much true.
    Since the first of May, I have been fishing six times. My first outing was in
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  • Go north young man, go north

    WHILE SOME MIGHT argue it is possible that there is never an absolutely perfect day, I had a couple last week that would heartily dispute them.
    Finally looking like spring should look like in early May, I got the hankering to go catch a trout fish last Friday. The hankering was strong enough that I found I couldn’t wait for Wisconsin’s season to open Saturday so I did the next best thing, heeding the advice of Herbert Greeley, the unknown brother of
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  • To everything there is a season

    “To everything, turn, turn, turn. There is a season, turn, turn, turn. And a time to every purpose under heaven.” — “Turn! Turn! Turn!” by The Byrds

    FOR EVERYTHING THERE really is a season and that season right now, is spring. With snow falling a few days ago, one might have argued that we were still waiting for spring, but as happens virtually every April, snow will
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  • An oft-repeated story plays out

    WHEN IT COMES to a hunting story, the hunter never knows how it will begin, nor how it will end when all is said and done.
    Certainly, that was the case with my short, two-day turkey hunting expedition to Illinois last week. A beautiful Wednesday afternoon, I arrived in Jo Daviess County where I would stay with the
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  • It came, but I wasn’t there

    OPENING DAY HAS come and gone, and I was not there. The second day has come and gone, and I was not there. Today, Wednesday, is the third day and I am not quite there yet.
    Since I was a very young boy, opening days have been very important events in my life. They began with
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  • Hikes stir memories of good times

    THOUGH MOST FORECASTS say winter will return in force late this week, during the past seven days I was able to get in some great springtime walks. A day when a warm sun pushed temperatures into the 40s, my dogs and I took advantage with a long hike along a seldom-used side road that is nonetheless plowed all winter for the
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  • The Bois Brule River is calling

    APRIL 1 HAS COME and gone, and with it, all the corny jokes that people try to play on each other. I used to try and get in on that action, but in my old age have given it up as a lost cause. Mostly because the people I know have given my warped sense of humor up as a lost cause.
    People aren’t the only ones who can play an April Fools’ joke. Mother Nature has long been good at it. Take this year for instance. With 
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  • Call it an ode to wildflowers

    THE SNOW IS still deep. The snow still keeps us from taking familiar and favorite walks through the woods. The snow looks like it may never go away. I’m as ready as anyone for snow and ice to go away, and believe it or not, there are tiny spots where already, there is evidence the sun and calendar will have their way with
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  • A walk opens portals to the past

    SOME PEOPLE CALL it shack happy; some might call it stir crazy. I call it marking time. Whatever you call it, this is the time of year in north Wisconsin when people who have been cooped up all winter start thinking of bustin’ out.
    It’s not just people either. I am acquainted with
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  • It’s good to be an old geezer

    WHEN THE SUN finally sets on this winter and, believe it or not, it will, there will be no way of sugarcoating its severity. When you get dumped on to the tune of more than 70 inches of snow in February alone, not to mention enduring a January ice storm and cold spell of actual 20 to 30 below readings on the thermometer for days on end, you have had
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  • Good to be wanted in Illinois

    IN 1970, A ROCK ‘n’ roll song entered the American charts, climbing all the way to No. 1 on the Cashbox list and to No. 5 on the Hot 100 list.
    The name of the song was “Indiana Wants Me” and the lyrics soon explained that the fellow being sung about was not wanted as a valued contributor to society. Instead, he was wanted for
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  • Never, never, ever again

    THE 2019 AMERICAN BIRKEBEINER ski race is history. For me, there were three important takeaways from this year’s race: 1. I finished. 2. I finished.3. I finished!
    One down, one to go. This year gave me 19 completed 55K Birkies and next year, will be my
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  • I love old things best

    I LOVE OLD things. I love