More than sobriety: Northwoods event aims to break stigma surrounding addiction

Belinda “Belle” Morey knows how to bet on herself.

Ten months ago, she walked away from a stable job as an outpatient substance abuse counselor to launch her own practice dedicated to a more individualized approach to addiction recovery.

But once her business, Progress Is Progress LLC, was up and running, she felt called to do something more.

Now, she's preparing to bring together recovery advocates, health care professionals and community members for the inaugural Real Talk Recovery: Progress in the Northwoods event on Nov. 21, featuring keynote speaker Tom Farley, brother of the late comedian Chris Farley and a prominent recovery advocate.

The free, daylong gathering will feature personal stories, panel discussions, breakout sessions and community resources, all aimed at breaking down the stigma surrounding addiction, particularly in rural communities. When considering where to hold the event, Morey said she kept coming back to Lac du Flambeau.

“I'm not Native ... but my ex-husband is Native, my kids are tribal descendants and my current husband is Native,” Morey said. “I lived in Flambeau for about 15 years on and off, and I went through a lot of hardships out there — a lot of domestic abuse and drug use and drug dealing. ... The cops knew me, they knew the family I was married into — but I also started to get better out there.”

Morey said taking an EMT course through the town helped her realize she could return to school and pursue a different path in life. She eventually became a certified clinical substance abuse counselor.

A message to Tom Farley

As Morey began planning the event, she knew she wanted to bring a speaker to the area. She had seen Tom Farley speak at other events and knew of his Northwoods connection.

On a whim, she reached out to him on LinkedIn.

“He took my message and we met for a Zoom call and I was just amazed,” Morey said. “He was so on board. ... He was just like, ‘Yes, I want to do this,’ and was just so enthusiastic about it.”

His willingness to participate — and to do so for free — became the catalyst for expanding the event, Morey said.

Wisconsin native Tom Farley, who attended summer camp on Trout Lake and later worked there as a counselor during college, said he was “always up north” with his family growing up. His decision to participate was driven by both his love for the Northwoods and his concern about the challenges facing rural communities.

Sobriety versus recovery

While Farley's personal struggle with alcohol addiction included periods of sobriety, he said he didn't fully understand what recovery meant until he began addressing his mental health and personal growth.

“Sobriety is just — you're the drinker, you don't drink,” he explained. “It wasn't about being sober. I wanted to be more honest, be more humble, be more grateful. Sobriety doesn't naturally just give you those things, but I needed the clarity of sobriety to work on all those things.”

“It had to start with me first,” he added. “That whole notion of wanting everyone around you to make life a better place for you to live ... it's the other way around. Make yourself a better person to live in this life ... Waiting for other people to fix your issues, that's not how it works.”

Wisconsin brothers

Farley, co-author of “The Chris Farley Show,” spent years advocating for addiction awareness by sharing the story of his brother, beloved “Saturday Night Live” comedian Chris Farley, who died of a drug overdose in December 1997.

But he said he didn't find the connection he was seeking until he began telling his own story.

“[I was] talking about somebody else's addiction and probably helping people, but it didn't help me,” Farley said. “But now when I'm just telling my story and being the authentic person I am ... Chris is still part of that story, but it's my story.”

“The greatest gift was once I started being more honest about myself and forgiving myself and not judging myself,” he continued. “... When I started to give that same grace to other people, I also was able to give that to Chris, and I was able to separate this brother with an addiction from this brother that I love. ... Even though Chris has been gone almost 30 years, I understand him more and more as I understand myself.”

Farley also hopes to challenge Wisconsin's deeply ingrained drinking culture, which he believes has become too closely tied to the state's identity.

“There's so much more to our history and identity that outshines that by tenfold,” he said. “... It's not about drinking. There's so much more to who we are.”

“I was sad at first when I got into recovery,” he recalled. “I'm like, ‘Oh man, the happiest place I knew to drink was the Northwoods. Can I not go to the Northwoods ever again?’ I'm like, ‘Baloney, don't take that away from me.’”

Connection is key

At Real Talk Recovery, Farley said he will share his story — and Chris' — “because we cannot heal in isolation.”

“Being a better human allowed me to connect, which is what I wanted all along,” he said.

That emphasis on connection is central to Morey's vision for the event.

“We have recovery events for people in recovery. We have all sorts of things, and then we have conferences for the professionals,” Morey said. “But as far as I've known and as far as I've experienced, we've never had one that blends the two together.”

“For myself as a professional and a person with lived experience, I do share that,” she continued. “I put out there that I'm in recovery. Now, I don't do so for my own good. I do so to be able to connect with others.”

A community approach

Set for Saturday, Nov. 21, the free Real Talk Recovery event will be held from 8 a.m. to 7:30 p.m. at Lake of the Torches Resort Casino in Lac du Flambeau.

Morey said more than 150 people have registered so far, with organizers expecting 250 to 300 attendees.

The event will highlight the many paths to recovery, emphasizing that what works for one person may not work for another.

In addition to delivering the morning keynote address, Farley will participate in an afternoon panel featuring state Sen. Jesse James and several other speakers. A representative from Section Yellow, the sober section at Lambeau Field in Green Bay, also will participate.

Breakout sessions will cover topics such as starting recovery, the science of addiction, relapse and resilience, along with personal stories from those with lived experience. A youth discussion forum will provide a space for young people to share their perspectives.

Other activities will include a resource fair, free community feast, community art project and a cleansing and reflection room offering a quiet space for personal reflection. The day will conclude with a closing circle and optional open mic featuring music, poetry and personal stories.

When asked what would make the event a success, Morey said, “Seeing people having conversations as they leave.”

And Morey's ambitions don't stop with this year's event. She said she's already fundraising for next year and hopes to develop a toolkit to help other communities organize similar gatherings.

“The goal is also after this event to give that framework away and to be able to share that with communities throughout the Northwoods, throughout Wisconsin, and hopefully beyond,” she said.

For now, Morey continues to embrace the philosophy that inspired her business and the event: “Progress is progress — mile or millimeter.”

For more information and a link to register, visit progresscounselingprograms.com/real-talk-recovery or contact Morey at 715-892-5310 or belle.morey@progressisprogressllc.com.